This is a post I don’t particularly want to write but I feel like I have to. I am working through coming to terms with the stark reality of the second year of grief and how it affects everything. Simply everything. I want to share this because I think it’s important. I know it’s important. It has been very hard to find positivity in the second year. Oh, I’ve been able to do it and I’ve had some great people in my life help me with it but it’s been hard and it gets harder as the two year anniversary approaches in almost exactly a week. I’ve dealt with more…
-
-
Back in Black: Book Update and Spam
Hello! It has been a while. I had to deal with some things and had a couple of huge projects come my way that needed my full attention but now I’m back in a big way and I have some updates and a few widow thoughts. First of all, I’m giving a firm date for my book, I Hope They Have Email in the Afterlife. October 26th is the big day and I am sticking to it. This is it. This is the month. This book needs to get out of me and I want to get it out there. A quick summary: In the grip of my deepest grief,…
-
Grief Sucks
It will be a year and five months in exactly a week (the 27th). I have been doing well. I have also not been doing well. Those two things exist right next to each other and each day I am touched by both of them. I want to be positive and I want to be inspirational but I also want to tell you, you know what? My grieving has not stopped (this is mostly a reminder to myself). I am still in a lot of pain, more than most people know. I have built up an endurance to it. I have built up stamina and I spin it in a…
-
That Second Year
That Second Year So, this is my second year of being a widow. It has been challenging so far, I’ll admit it. Settling into a new, strange life you weren’t prepared for is not easy. There is definitely something to the theory that the second year is when the shock wears off. Is it harder than the first year? It has its own feel to it and there is an emptiness to it that is difficult but no, it’s not harder. Not to me. I remember the unending pain and misery in those first six months. I am able to laugh and enjoy life sometimes now. How is that not…
-
Float Away
My life is not without challenges. Like so many of us, there are many more challenges than I would like. But I sit here today and I look out at the sun shining through my windows. I breathe in the spring air through my partially opened door. I watch the clouds move in their willowy way. I see people living their lives, working and walking. They have families at home or they don’t. They have something to look forward to or they don’t. They have something that they dread or they don’t. They are human, like me. We are all in this together and I see us all surrounded by…