Three years ago today. Wow.Three years ago today.It's so hard to fathom that over a thousand days have happened. Three times, we've rotated around the sun.It took a while to accept that the world still continues after you die. But do you know what the beautiful thing is? You are still so loved.
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Two Years Ago, Everything Changed
The obituary above is from the book, Obituaries in the Performing Arts, 2016. I found it today while I was googling my late husband. My late husband. My husband who died. He’s dead. I still can’t believe it. I wonder if it will ever feel real. Losing somebody as close as a spouse or a child or a sibling—anybody who changes your day-to-day—feels like there was a nuclear attack, annihilating everything and nobody seemed to notice. They see that you notice it, but they walk around like everything is still the same. It’s weird. I remember wondering how it was that the world could still go on after Steven died.…
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Deadlines and Grief
So, I made a deadline for myself to have a book finished about my grief in the first year of losing my husband. What was I thinking? I forgot how much of that initial raw grief this whole thing dusts up when I work on it. I forgot how much it brings back my widow brain. So, obviously, I am not making my deadline. However, I did learn something from this! Never set a deadline on a project dealing with my grief! Never. Oh you guys, never ever. The last thing I should have done was compound the grief flashbacks with a feeling of pressure to meet a deadline. Not…
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Back in Black: Book Update and Spam
Hello! It has been a while. I had to deal with some things and had a couple of huge projects come my way that needed my full attention but now I’m back in a big way and I have some updates and a few widow thoughts. First of all, I’m giving a firm date for my book, I Hope They Have Email in the Afterlife. October 26th is the big day and I am sticking to it. This is it. This is the month. This book needs to get out of me and I want to get it out there. A quick summary: In the grip of my deepest grief,…
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Float Away
My life is not without challenges. Like so many of us, there are many more challenges than I would like. But I sit here today and I look out at the sun shining through my windows. I breathe in the spring air through my partially opened door. I watch the clouds move in their willowy way. I see people living their lives, working and walking. They have families at home or they don’t. They have something to look forward to or they don’t. They have something that they dread or they don’t. They are human, like me. We are all in this together and I see us all surrounded by…
